DREW'S TEACHER INQUIRY
The science and art of receiving feedback well
Thanks for the Feedback
My leadership inquiry will be focussed on feedback. The following notes and reflections will base the foundation and guide my process. Hear it from me.
Introduction-
It may not always be pleasant, but there just might be a pony in there somewhere.
"The real leverage is creating pull"
"Receiving feedback sits at the intersection of these two needs - our drive to learn and our longing for acceptance."
It's a skill to be cultivated. To receive feedback well, one must engage in a conversation full and make thoughtful choices about whether and how to use the information and what you're learning.
Three Triggers-
There are three triggers when receiving feedback. Truth, relationship and identity.
More than one would like to admit, does one sit at an appraisal meeting thinking:
Will I be praised for my work … or my leadership in … ???
Only to be instead, given feedback that one wasn’t expecting, challenging and compelling as it is, one accepts it but walks away confused. Albeit, ready to change, but strangely bewildered.
One could be left thinking “ Yes, we did ask for feedback; no we did not ask for whatever it is that they’ve just offered us.”
Truth triggers: the substance of the feedback can leave one feeling wronged.
We must therefore recognise that something is always more complicated than it appears and work hard to understand.
Relationship triggers: all feedback is coloured by the relationship between giver and receiver.
“Embedded in the hurly-burly of every relationship is a unique pairing of sensitivities, preferences, and personalities.”
Identity triggers: focus neither on the feedback nor on the person offering it.
We should then SEE feedback as ‘actual size’ and work to correct distorted thinking.
Understanding feedback can be difficult. The issue can lay in what one asks for. Knowing exactly the type of feedback one wants, really matters. Broadly feedback is categorised into three forms: appreciation, coaching, and evaluation.