Chapter 3:

First Understand-

Shift from “That’s Wrong” to “ Tell Me More”

Understanding is job one-

we jump straight to judgement before fully understanding. pg 47

We make judgements and use labels when giving feedback. As a giver, the label means something specific to a giver. Question: does this specific feedback actually mean the same to the receiver? Does it translate? Or is it lost in translation? In our minds we have a HD movie that captures all that we mean by those labels… it’s easy to forget that when we convey feedback to someone, the movie is not attached. Pg 50.

Giver vs Receiver

Pg 50- Labels / feedback need to be specific in 2 ways:
(1) “here’s what I noticed…” and
(2) “here’s what you need to do…”.
What was heard and what was meants can be two very different things in this situation. A receiver considers where the feedback is coming from and how it was formulated. A dilemma is that receivers interpret feedback based on the relationship they have with the giver.

What was heard vs What was meant

The observed data is entrenched in the observer's senses- what they experienced determines the data, what they don’t see is left on the cutting room floor. The data is then interpreted before given to the receiver albeit coloured in assumptions.
We all confuse DATA and INTERPRETATION. The real issue is that the interpretation happens instantly and we give interpretation rather than raw data. What we store in our minds can often be interpretation rather than raw data (pg 56). Both D & I are crucial in feedback and so one wants a clear picture of both.
Feedback’s future: the forward-looking component of feedback. pg57
Important note: pg59
When receiving coaching- clarify advice
When receiving evaluation- clarify consequences and expectations
Some parallels with ‘growth mindset’

'Where is it coming from?’ (observed data) and

‘where is it going?’ (interpreted data). Pg 53

“We don’t notice what we don’t notice, so we don’t notice that we don’t notice”
pg 62
Biases drive data collection- implicit rules about organisational culture set up contrast between what we expect and what is reality.
Key shift from wrong spotting to difference spotting. Find out why the giver’s feedback is coloured in their perception. Seek to understand.

Differences

Understand the feedback, it's data and interpretation. The better you understand the origins, consequences and evaluation, the better placed you are to find something useful and at the very least, understand the ways in which you're being mis-understood.

Listen for the labels, and work hard to look under them, when unsure, ask the question.

When you still disagree- pg 68-69

pg 75

Wrong spotting; break out the right-spotting this is where the real learning is.